A Start to my Blog

Hello to one and all. For starter, I just like to say thanks for coming and reading my blog. I am sure that there is much better things to read on the internet. So I just like to say thanks again for taking the time to read my thoughts. I write a lot (in journals) But this whole Blog thing is kind'da new to me so I hope you bare with me while I keep working on my blogs. I have lots and lots to tell.
Writing for me helps me release a lot of my stress and I've actually been writing since I was a young boy. It's always been easier for me to tell my feeling to paper then just talking to someone. I'll try out this blog writing and just see how it goes.
My name is Jacob, But pretty much everyone knows me as Jay. I am sure from the pictures you see on my profile, I have scars on my face and body. I was burned in an oil fire at the age of 4 in west Texas in 1978. Long story short, I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. My dad worked in the oil field in West Texas and at the time, I was a daddy's boy and always wanted to be with him. He owned his own truck and many times I'd go with him and sleep in his sleeper on the truck while he worked just so I was able to spend more time with him. It wasn't my dad's fault that I got burned, But he always blamed himself for many year for what had happen. I believe now, it was not his fault it was just a freak accident.
But as you might think I did have a pretty rough life growing up. I was burned 78% of my body. It's hard to live in the world when you look completely different then other people. People might not mean to, but you always get treated differently. Sometimes it was good but most of the time it was bad. Going to school was a really hard time for me. Kids can be very mean sometimes so in school, I always had a lot of stress. It's probably why I never ready did that good in school. Of course, I totally regret it now. I wish I could go back and redo it all again with what I know now.
From age 4 through 21 I was always at the burn hospital in Galveston Texas. I spent a lot of time there for the first 12 years of being burned. I had surgeries after surgeries after surgeries. Because me being at the hospital a lot, I did missed out a lot with my schooling. Of course I did get a lot of my schooling from inside the hospital, but it wasn't the same as being in a class room full of other students.
Sometime I do wish I looked normal (no scars) and things might be different (in a better way) BUT ... Regardless what had happen in my life, weather good or bad, I strongly believe EVERYTHING happens for a reason. Who am I to question the higher power. Instead of always asking why this had to happen to me, I figure it's better to just accept it and move on. So that what I've done. Of course me believing this didn't happen over night. It took me a long time to accept it. As of today, when I look in the mirror, I see me for me. I can see past my scars and see the person I want to be.
In a lot of ways, I wish others could see me how I see me.
It's really hard meeting people for the first time because first impressions are everything. And when people see me for the first time, (I don't believe people mean to) But they see the scars and don't REALLY SEE me until they spend a little time with me and then they realize beyond the scars I am just like everyone else. That why I'll never be a part of a "Love at first sight" kind'da thing, and it's OK. I've been told it's way over rated any how.
My dream it just to meet my soul mate that can see past everything, and just love me for who I am. Someone I can grow old with and live a happy life together til the very last breath I take. Is that to much to ask for?
Well I'm now going to turn 37 in a few month and I'm still out here searching for my one true love. Hopefully I'll still have time to find her. I will never give up hope.